○ Pain of Moving On ○

For the heart's that been torn, Theres not much you can do.. But to understand.. Remember this words? Don't worry i will free you, When its finally time for you to go.. Theres no easy way to let go of something that i know will never happen again. But i will face the world around me knowing that i am strong enough to let you go. I'm aware that you only came into my life for a while, and that time will come i have to let give up.. And that the end of it, Theres go my life. You left me at the very moment that i can't give you up.. I cry for the memories, I cry for the pain, I cry for the times that i thought that i had you. I know you're not mine, But hlding on to you have become my way to keep me alive.. Wish you see the tears run from my eyes, Coz it spells the truth how i really feels inside.. Don't worry my tears won't blame you.. Those are just the words my heart uses to explain.. When even my smiles can't cover up my pain.. Its been a while, Still i can't get out from your shadow.. Till this very moment, I'm still trying to pick up all those pieces.. Thank you for the love and the pain, The pain that i'll always remember.. Even now. my heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. One day i can say, Finally, I'm Over You..You are still with me, Eventhough your not on my side. One day, I'll be able to stand next to you without wanting to hold your hand... Somewhere down my journey, I will fall inlove again. I know..... I can....

◘ Last Love Letter ◘

To the person i considered mY SouLmatE. When you came into my life, i told myself i would love you and never gonna hurt you. You were my bestfriend, my love, my everything. Til one day, you came and said 'i'm sick, i'm afraid i can't stay with you any longer'. But when i saw those tears fell down your cheeks, It spells out the truth about how you really feel inside. You were deeply hurt, yah! i know i was hurt too. You can't even look straight into my eyes when you said 'It was too late!'. My life has changed at that very moment. I just found myself on bended knees yelling 'WHY?'. I was down completely, BUt i have to be strong for you. In you worst.... I was there. Until the day has come to say goodbye. I knew it, But i just can't accept it. If only i knew that was the last time, I should have held you and never let go. The kiss, the whisper, and embrace.. It was the last.. I can feel your arms.. Falling down slowly.. I know youre gone. We always thought our love was enough for us to last. It was a sad ending. Its God will. I know youre happy now, wherever you are. And me, here i am hurting, broken. Thosse few months and days. Its all gone now. How can i forget?. And how could i start once again?. I'm sorry if yoou see my life falling apart. I know i can get you back, And i wont be seeing you for the rest of my life. Its more than how many days now, This has been the longest day of my life. The most painful painful time i ever had. The sadness of the night brings back the days we had, The time you let go of me, and the moment that i surrendered you. Even silence reminds me of all the sorrows, The pain, And my hopelessness. Let me suffer in silence, Til i get over you. Slowly i can let you go, And i will be me once again. I will be keeping my promise, I will move on, But you will always be, A part of me. Hear me say this one last time. 'I have found the essence of my life, I have discovered a world thats beautiful, Because of YOU'. My love, My misery. I'm letting go of you now. Its time to set myself free. This is the hardest thing i will do, Because i still love you and this love...this is all i have...

♥ Isang damdamin na kahit nasasaktan na ♥

Isang damdaming umiibig pa rin kahit nasasaktan na. Isa sa pinaka problema ng bawat tao ay yung tipong nasasaktan na ngunit patuloy pa rin na umiibig kahit sobra na. Sa sitwasyon kong ito, tanggap ko na kahit nuh pang gawin kong pagpapaka seryooso sa isang tao ay bigo pa rin ako na mahalin at seryosohin niya ako. Sa sitwasyon ko ba namang ito, Ewan ko lang. Pero ito lang ang maipagmamalaki ko sa mga taong minahal ko ng sobra pero sinaktan at iniwan lang nila ako, Kahit ganto man ako, Isa akong tapat, mapagmahal, mapagbigay, maunawain, seryoso at sobrang mabait na tao. Kahit saktan pa nila ako ng kahit ilang bisis. Hindin hindi ako mawawalan ng pag-asa sa buhay. Lalaban at lalaban ako kahit sobrang nasasaktan nako at natatapakan na buong pagkatao ko. Laitin man ako, sabihin mang akoy gago, hinding hindi ako magpapatalo sa laban kong gusto kong maipanalo. Nagpapasalamat ako sa mga taong minahal ko ng sobra-sobra ngunit itoy kanilang inabuso. Nang dahil sa ginawa nila saking yun, Na uunawaan ko ng mas mabuti kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal. Mas lalo kong nalalaman kong bakit laging ganon nalang ang nangyayari sakin sa tuwing nagmamahal ako ng sobra-sobra. Pilit ko mang kalimutan ang lahat ng nangyaring masaklap sa buhay ko, babalik at babalik din ito sa isip at sa puso ko sa tuwing nasasaktan nako. Kahit sa pagkakaalam ng iba na akoy isang matapang na tao, ngunit pag pag-ibig na ang pinag uusapan, ang kahinaan ko ay natutuklasan ng bawat taong kinakasama ko. Only love can make me feel weak.Lahat ng paraan upang di lang ako masaktan gagawin at gagawin ko, pero paano ko maiiwasan ang masaktan kung akoy nagmamahal ng tunay at tapat sa isang tao. Nasasaktan ang damdamin ko sa tuwing minamaliit ang kakayahan ko, natatapakan na pagkatao ko, at sa tuwing nakikita at nararamdaman kong ang tang minamahal ko ay unti-unti ng lumalayo sa piling ko. Hindi ko nalnag pinapakita ang lahat ng mga nararamdaman kong sakit dahil ayaw kong may malulungkot at may nasasaktang tao dahil lang sa nasasaktan ako. Pilit kong itago ang lahat ng mga hinanakit ko ng sa ganun nakikita ng mga taong naka paligid sakin na masaya ako, ngunit sa kalooban kong ito, akoy lubos na nasasaktan, nalulungkot, at naiiyak. Itatago ko nalang ang yun sa paraang gusto ko. Nang sa gayon ako lang ang nakaka alam kung anung nararamdaman ng puso ko.Alam ko namang lahat tayo ay may kanya kanyang kahinaan sa buhay. Lahat tayo ay may mga takot na baka dumating ang araw na mararamdaman nating labis na tayong nasasaktan ng dahil sa pag-ibig . Pilit man nating bulagin ang mga mata natin sa katotohanan, at lokohin natin ang ating sarili, mararamdaman at mararamdaman nating nasasaktan na pala talaga tayo. Sa mga panahong ito. Sana, hindi ko na maramdaman yung sakit na pilit kong iniiwasan.

• Simpleng Kahilingan •

Isa lang akong simpleng taong may mga simpleng kahilingan sa buhay na gustong gusto kong matupad at mangyari. Una sa lahat gusto ko lang sanang maging masaya kasama ang pinakamamahal kong girlfriend at maramdamang mahal niya akong talaga. Yung tipong nararamdaman kong ako lang sa buhay niya. Yung ako ang una sa mga prioridad niya. Yung tipong di niya kayang nakikita akong nasasaktan. Yung tipong masasabi niyang ' Kontento nako sayo at ayoko ng maghanap pa ng iba dahil ikaw lang yung gusto kong makasama habang buhay'. Yung tipong nagagalit siya pag may nagpapcute sakin dahil nagseselos siya. Yung ayaw man lang niyang mahawakan ako ng iba dahil siya lang yung pwede. hehehehe!!! (selfIsH) Tsaka yung ayaw niyang maramdaman ko yung insekyuridad at pag-aalala dahil sa mga nanaliligaw sa kanya. Yung kaya niyang baguhin yung sarili niya dahil mahal niya ko. Napapatawa ako pag nalulungkot ako.hehehe!!! Pangalawa, Yung matanggap ako ng pamilya ng girlfirend ko. hmmpp!! Pangatlo, Makatapos ng pag-aaral at makahanap ng mabuting trabaho ng kumita ng maganda at meh papakain sa asawa ko..awwwhh☺!!!!!!! Ang pinaka huli sa lahat, Yung makikita kong masaya yung MAma ko para sakin kasi nagawa ko yung lahat ng gusto niyang magawa ko. At makatulong ako sa kanya balang araw...☺☺☺☺

☻ The life I lived with different people and there different personalities ☻

lived my life in only one goal, to pursue my studies and have a god work in future. I lived my life with different person. Lets start from my parents, My siblings , And my GIRLS. GIRLS??
when we say girls? one thing we always think about. Is it look pretty, ugly or let me say weird.
Hahaha!!! I started courting a girl since i was at grade five. The girl i was courting was Jonnah Mae Nipas. A tranferee student in our school. She was just about grade four at that time. It started when i saw her dancing in a programe in our place. It was so amazing, she's very good in dancing and singing. She has all the talents. She said YES to me later on after three weeks i courted her. Maybe i can call it, that was just PUPPY Love. Later on, after just 2 months if i'm not mistaken, We broke up. I was really hurt at that time because she was my first love. After a month, I meet Leslie Comahig a sister of my childhood named Liones my bestfriend before. I courted her. We last just about 5 months i think. We broke up because her parents don't want me to be her special someone because i'm like this. After a sad break up. I stop searching for the right one for me to lived with. I started again searching when i was second year high school. I meet a lot of girls but no one of them make me feel special except of one girl. Shaira Hannah Obsioma. A girl who really cried for me. And sacrificed just for us to survive and continue what we had. We last for just about 8 months. I broke up with her because i can't understand her too much. But lately we become friends. There was a good friend of mine who introduced me to a one girl who was justn flirting at me. I feel inlove on her without knowing that she was just playing my feelings on her. I lately knew that she love the friend who introduced me to her. But its just okay for me because she was my friend and i don't want to be the wall to them. I just relax my heart from falling inlove because it was wounded to much and it needs to be healed. A years ago. I am facing my life as a senior student. I stared again searching for someone to be with. It was flag ceremony on our school when i first saw the girl who wounded me so much. Her name was Mirasol Maxino Impabido. I really love that girl before. I always let her feel she's not alone. we last just about 11 months and 5 days. Before our first anniversary she broke up with me because she has found someone more than me. i was really hurt at that time. And don't even know what to do. I just found myself on bended knees whispering WHY?? It so hard to moved on and forget a feelings to someone. I suffered many months just to forget the feelings i had for her. After i moved on. I feel inlove again to someone who really plays,hurt,rejects, and who taken me for granted. She was May Ann Gamao Lagura. A dancer and a singer in our school when i was in SJIT. I first meet her at our acquitance party. In a disco. She introduced her self on me, and i do the same to her. Later on. after a days i got her number from a good friend of mine. I started texting her, And i started courting her. After that, I invited her in our house to have some fun and drinking sessions. We had romance before she sais yes at me. We alst just about 8 months. I lately i knew that she was pregnant. Its hard to believe but that whats really happened. I feel so down like i almost kill myself for being so innocent like nothings happened. I find myself on liquors, and cigarettes just to forget what happended. To forget anything between us. But now, i was happy to be with someone who feels happy whenever she's with me. She was Jana Shee Gido Monton. My girlfriend, my wife, my everything now. i was finally contented to her. I was happy with her. I was filled with joy,care and love as of now. I do hope she will never changed as what she is. Here i stop sharing to you the Life i Lived with different person and different personalities.

☺ abOuT mE ☺

I'm Joey Dayaday Gumapac. Born on August 3, 1992 at Antongalon Butuan City, And living now in Princess homes, Villa Kananga. A youngest daughter of Mr. Edgardo Intino Gumapac and Teresa Obedincio Dayaday. I have my two older sisters named Haydee Mae Gumapac Delfin and Hazel Gumapac Rosauro. I'm the only dauhgter of my parents whose not married yet. I lived my life happy.Eventhough i'm like this i'm proud of what i am and i've never been ashamed to let other people know who the real me is.I have lots of different experiences in life. Sometimes its too bad, but sometimes its too happy. I have a lot of friends in different places. I'm a friendly, caring and lovable person. You can easily approach me whatever problem you have. I'm ready to help you if i can. I'm a good advicer, but some people says i'm a good advicer to other but i can't solve my own problem. I often listens to the musics i like. I'm a poem maker. A music lover. I hate people who always judge me eventhough they not know me yet. I hate people who are back biters. And here must i stop the story about me.....
A thoughts from me..
"don't give up on things you wished to have"